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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28763373">call me nothing, treat me like trash.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/winonasawyer/pseuds/winonasawyer'>winonasawyer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>just me, and you. [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ratched (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Is Angst Mastubation A Tag?, Masturbation, even though she doesn’t say anything, im sorry, mildred’s a dick in this, really sad lol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:14:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,530</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28763373</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/winonasawyer/pseuds/winonasawyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>listening to the continuous grunting wasn’t helping, and with shaky steps- gwendolyn stumbled back to her room. it wasn’t a long distance, probably only a few feet, but to her- it stretched out like vines, and pricked at her feet like thorns. she slammed her door open, barely managing to shut it before she fell to her knees and sobbed. </p><p> </p><p>or, when i decide to go full angst mode.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gwendolyn Briggs/Mildred Ratched</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>just me, and you. [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2117700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>call me nothing, treat me like trash.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey y’all! i’m back with some new weird shit lol. i just wanted to say i have no idea why i wrote this but i hope you like it :)</p><p> </p><p>WARNING- sad gay shit. someone help gwendolyn she’s struggling.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>a lump, painful and biting, rested in gwendolyn’s throat as moaning rang through the air. normally, she wouldn’t care if someone was having sex in the room next to her. it was annoying, but she’s dealt with worse shit than a couple not understanding common decency. normally, she wouldn’t pay it any mind, only this was not some random couple- this was mildred’s room, and suddenly her heart was breaking into a thousand little pieces. </p><p> </p><p>listening to the continuous grunting wasn’t helping, and with shaky steps- gwendolyn stumbled back to her room. it wasn’t a long distance, probably only a few feet, but to her- it stretched out like vines, and pricked at her feet like thorns. she slammed her door open, barely managing to shut it before she fell to her knees and sobbed. </p><p> </p><p>gwendolyn had known rejection. it was a harsh slap, cold and unrelenting against her ego, but this? this was cruel, and gwendolyn gasped from the weight of it. she sobbed, but not from sadness, but from the pure jealousy that ran wild in her chest. </p><p> </p><p>“that fucking bitch!” agitation shot through her veins, and gwendolyn stormed up, turning on the radio and blasting it so the music could be heard through the walls. if mildred was going to moan like a whore, gwendolyn would be sure to make her own music heard. moving around the room like a hurricane, she snatched a bottle of beer from the table, once forgotten and now being chugged down quickly. </p><p> </p><p>she wondered if she would die from choking, or rather heartbreak. she wondered if mildred would care, but was reminded of the moans (were they getting louder?) and thought that no, she wouldn’t. </p><p> </p><p>plopping down on her bed, gwendolyn huffed, silent, angry tears streaming down her cheeks. beside her was chocolates, and she stuffed those in her mouth along with the warm beer. one of the radios switched to the news, but gwendolyn didn’t pay attention. focusing on the food, she pushed it around her mouth, chewing faster and chugging quicker until her throat burned. </p><p> </p><p>when her stomach ached, she threw the now empty bottle against the wall, watching as it exploded into shards, little crystals falling like stardust. falling back against the pillows, she noticed the water stains on the grey ceiling. had people fucked on this bed? did they both cum? </p><p> </p><p>mildred was getting louder. maybe this was gwendolyn’s problem. all she knew was flirting with women and smoking cigarettes and lying to herself. mildred had softened her, a pretty woman with cold glances but oh so fragile and broken beneath her icy walls. gwendolyn knew almost all the ways to make a woman’s thighs quake. (they would twist and moan and arch off the bed, desperate for release, begging for mercy. a throb went through gwendolyn when she fucked women. women were so precious, yet vile all the same.)</p><p> </p><p>gwendolyn had liked to stare into mildred’s pretty eyes. they were brown pools, like molten chocolate spreading out over warm doughnuts. she could see the pain hidden behind those eyes, wanting to smooth out the rough edges and press kisses against the scars resting across porcelain skin. mildred was almost a doll herself, in a way. her beauty carefully crafted, but a hollow space resting under her bones. </p><p> </p><p>she had kissed women before. snuck them away to her house (trevor was out for the night), kissing down their necks and sliding her whole fucking hand inside them. the burn around her fingers was intoxicating, as were the trails of arousal that trickled down their shaking thighs.</p><p> </p><p>kissing women left her breathless, but mildred, with all of her quips and harsh words? mildred stole the air from her chest and the sense from her brain, leaving her struck silly everytime the woman so much as looked at her. </p><p> </p><p>“fuck..” she gasped, feeling a new round of tears prickling behind her eyelashes. this was ridiculous, her mind screamed. here she was, drinking herself half stupid, all because of mildred ratched. had she not embarrassed herself enough? had she not realized that mildred, in all of her beauty and pain, was nothing but a snake, slithering closer to her heart until she wrapped around it with dagger fingers? </p><p> </p><p>she wondered if mildred had cast a spell over her. mildred crawled into her bloodstream, and sat herself down next to all the blood and guts and bones. she sat herself down, and owned gwendolyn completely. </p><p> </p><p>“did you even like me?” </p><p> </p><p>asking questions to the empty air did nothing, only fueling the gaping maw laying where her heart should’ve been. if she squinted, she could see the beating organ on the ground, still so red and full, pumping away before getting crushed under mildred’s heel. she took in a big breath, and closed her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>the whimpering filtered through the still blasting music. gwendolyn cursed, the tears burning her face. “did you even care?”</p><p> </p><p>her fingers trailed down to her legs, finding themselves at the top of her pants. she was shirtless, though she did not take the time to question when exactly she had taken the shirt off. sliding her pants down, gwendolyn rested her middle finger over the wet of her panties. disgust and envy, little demons, moved her fingers for her, and she watched with bleary eyes as they traced circles over the growing wetness. </p><p> </p><p>“you bitch.. you never viewed me as anything more than just a bug.”</p><p> </p><p>images of that damned oyster restaurant swam through the black of her mind, and she swore when she imagined the warm lips of mildred, wrapping around the shell of the creature- instead wrapping around her dripping center. gwendolyn groaned, the sound practically in sync with mildred’s, although hers rang quiet, while mildred’s rang far too loud. “i've never called anyone that before.. it’s almost painful to say. however, you, mildred, truly are a bitch. how could you do that to me?”</p><p> </p><p>her fingers moved faster, before pausing. gwendolyn teared the soaking fabric off, throwing it somewhere on the ground. she paid it no mind. </p><p> </p><p>“you pranced around my head, with your fucking small smile and silken hair, and you led me to believe that you could actually care about me.”</p><p> </p><p>“did it make you feel powerful?” a finger inside of her. she wished it was mildred’s. “did it fill the space in your chest that screams for control? fuck, i-“</p><p> </p><p>a throbbing bloomed in her stomach, but she stomped it down. too early, too much, too soon. “i wanted so badly to hold you close. to kiss upon your skin, and for you to do the same.”</p><p> </p><p>the throbbing returned, and gwendolyn’s eyes squeezed all the more tighter. tears and sweat were painting her flushed skin, and gwendolyn swore she saw stars when she pressed against the spot inside her that screeched in pleasure. still though, she pushed it down. “goddamn it mildred, couldn’t you see how i longed for you? how my heart broke the first time i saw you cry? did you see any of that? anything at all?”</p><p> </p><p>for a moment it seemed as if mildred had somehow heard her, in all of her wild rambling, because as she teetered closer to her orgasm, the string of moans quieted. for a moment, gwendolyn thought she had reached her, but then the moans started again, and her finger brushed her clit fervorously. </p><p> </p><p>what would make mildred cum the hardest, with gwendolyn? she was banging a man, she was probably used to cock. she craved it, deep, probing, harsh. a pounding. gwendolyn would give it to her, she would, if it meant mildred would moan for her, and not that man. she could fill her until she turned sore, until her legs shook for days. she could, and that’s what she hated about herself. </p><p> </p><p>“i cared for you,” she whined. “i wanted to care for everything about you. i saw you that day and knew i had to know you, not that bullshit persona you put out. you became my everything so quickly, and fuck, for a moment i thought you wanted to be mine as well.”</p><p> </p><p>her orgasm was approaching. hair fell into her eyes and her chest heaving urgently. she groaned, accepting her fate. with a final thrust and twist, she spilled out onto the sheets, face pink and sticky with tears. the aftershocks of it blinded her, and her fingers slowly slid out of her aching core. </p><p> </p><p>catching her breath was no easy feat, for as soon as she did, she was sobbing again. </p><p> </p><p>“did you know i drove home that day with tears in my eyes? i did, because i felt so horrible about assuming that about you. i would never want to be the bad guy in your story, mildred.</p><p> </p><p>her words seeped into the damp sheets. she curled into herself. naked limbs shivering from exertion. sitting ravaged and alone, gwendolyn weeped. </p><p> </p><p>outside, rain fell. gwendolyn reached for her box of cigarettes with hands not her own. she huffed at the end of it, orange fire biting at the other side. she breathed in the smoke, eyes difting closed. </p><p> </p><p>“i hope his dick was small.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>happy birthday holland/ any else who’s birthday is today &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>❥ drop a kudos/ comment if you liked this!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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